going ghetto.

Saturday I broke a porcelain crown in my mouth for the fifth time (blasted crown!).
Today I went to a Chilean dentist to get fitted for a new one.
It's going to be gold.
I'm going to be so ghetto fabulous.

Since this was my first experience at a dental office overseas, I thought I'd list a few notable differences.

1. The nicest dental office in Chile looks like the sketchiest dental office in the States. (This goes for hospitals too.) It's common for the paint to be peeling on the walls and for the ceiling to be missing several tiles. Instruments don't always look clean and sanitized and you're lucky if your dentist/doctor wears gloves.

2. In Chile, the dental staff and assistants wear one-piece, polyester uniforms with a long zipper down the front. They make me feel like I've time warped to the 70's.

3. When a dentist in the States removes a crown they use a substance called a gummy bear. It looks like a jolly rancher except it is slightly gooey and warm. Once you bite down on the gummy bear it begins to harden between your teeth. After a few minutes you'll open your mouth and out pops the crown. The entire process takes about 5 minutes and it's painless.

In Chile, the dentist drills your crown and then tries to yank it out with pliers. It took the dentist about 20 minutes of constant drilling, pulling, and yanking to finally get it out. (drilling + pulling + yanking = a bleeding, uncomfortable me.) This process is obviously pain-ful.

4. I wouldn't say impression putty in the States tastes good, but it's tolerable. In Chile, it's terrible!!! I couldn't stop gagging.

5. Finally, in the States once they've taken impressions of your teeth, they fit you with a temporary crown that is a typically made of a thin metal shell. In Chile, they create a temporary crown for you out of acrylic (like fake nails). I've never been to a dental office that smelled like a nail salon before. I guess there's a first time for everything.