tick. tock.

It's 2:06 a.m. and the house is calm. Ammon has fallen into a deep sleep, occasionally stirring when he wakes himself with a light snore. Wesley is nestled between us. His breathing is heavy and rhythmic as he rests peacefully in a golden slumber. I, on the the other hand, am awake. Listening to the steady, melodious sound of their breathing blend with the familiar creaks and groans of the house I grew up in.  Yet, as I lie here, that sweet, soft music is muffled by the loud and incessant ticking of our bedroom clock.

tick. tock.

From the moment I stepped off the plane, I've felt as though I am in a race against time. Our list of "People to See/Places to Visit" is a mile long and 27 days just doesn't seem like enough time. Our schedule is bursting with appointments and errands, and while I understand their importance, my priority is to matters of the heart.  

tick. tock.

They say "Home is where the heart is" and for me, Texas will always be my home. My heart belongs to my family and friends and when we moved to Chile a little over a year ago, a portion of my heart remained with them. Since our move, there has been an empty stillness in that corner of my heart. A place that has been sustained solely on the life support of memories and hope. It is that special place that only beats when you see your child wrapped in your father's loving arms. A place where you feel a tender warmth as your mother holds you during a devastating loss. A corner only awakened when you laugh with a friend until you cry, or cry with a friend until you laugh. 

tick. tock.

These past few days I have experienced an awakening of the stillness of my heart. With every reunion and every visit I feel my heart spark and beat with vigor and spirit. I feel it beat when I hear Wesley say, "I wub you, Granna." I feel it skip when I witness Carly snuggled up in a chair with her Nana. I feel a warmth when we create memories by trimming the tree and making Christmas goodies. My heart is overflowing with gratitude and love, energized with fulfillment, pumping peace and joy through my soul.

tick. tock.

So, although I hear the clock teasing me with it's constant tick-tocking, it also serves as a reminder that I need to make the most of every minute. To spend my time doing something I love with someone I love. To hug, embrace, laugh, and cry. To memorize faces, smells, and sounds. To create lasting memories and store them in my heart.  Because in a few more days, they'll need to sustain me for another year.

tick. tock.