oh no you didn't.

right after my second son was born, things weren't going so well. i didn't think two kids would be hard, but i was wrong, at least in my own case. i was struggling. at some point, my sister sent me the book "confessions of an unbalanced woman" by emily watts. this book really worked for me: short, to the point, funny, helpful, and so true. i was annoyed about everything at the time--from the laundry piling up, to the unmade beds, to the whiny two-year-old, to the needy infant. it all bugged me.

so as i'm reading, i get to this part:

...I have learned that my husband would do just about anything for me. He runs hard and fast, like a train on a track, and the only problem is that if the track doesn't happen to go past the garbage can, he genuinely doesn't see the trash piling up. Now I say, "Honey, could you please take out the garbage?" and he says, "Sure," and he does it. It's a miracle!

shazam! an epiphany. the reason my garbage is piled as high as my countertops is because my husband didn't actually see it. that's gotta be it! so i instantly forgive him this faux pas and decide that i can give him that one; he's busy too, and even though his only household chore is to take out the trash, i'll give him a break because he doesn't see it. so next time, i'll just ask him.

feeling very good about myself, i bring this up to the husband that night in bed. i say, "so emily watts says the reasons men don't take out the trash is because they don't see it."

then dave...oh dave. he says, "oh, i see it. i just think it needs to be smashed down more, so i leave it."

oh no you didn't.

maybe shamu could teach me a thing or two about training my husband.

what do you fight with your husband about?
(ummm...let's do superficial here, nothing too serious...right?
this is, after all, a family blog.)

--emily