opinions wanted.
ATTENTION ALL READERS!
I'm in need of some parental advice, STAT!
Carly and I are going new shoes shopping for school and she has been begging for a pair of Twinkle Toes. She thinks they are the "bees knees" and is dying to own a pair. Me? I think they are hideous! Hideous, I say!
So, what do I do?
Do I succumb to her pleas of popularity and buy the ugliest shoes on earth?
What do you do when your kid desperately wants something (toys, clothes, shoes, etc.) that you think is ridiculous?
12 comments:
I'm a mean mom, so you may not want my opinion;) I would say to give her a budget for her school clothes, and if she decides that those shoes are more important than something else, go for it. When it's not something that they need, I think they should earn it.
I'm in the middle of reading 'the Parenting Breakthrough- a real-life plan to teach your kids to work, save money, and be truly independent' by Merrilee Browne Boyack- she addresses such issues... LOVING IT!
I make them pay for it with their own money. If it's something I like and agree with, I'm willing to pay for it. Maybe that's not fair, but that's the way I do it. My problem isn't clothes, however, it's transformers. The kid will work his bum off to earn $10 for a transformer, plays with it for a day, and then never touches it again (or it breaks). I refuse to buy him one more. I guess I'm the one giving him money so I am in a sense paying for it, but he has to work for it.
I would give her a way to earn them. If that doesn't work, then I say it doesn't hurt to let her have them. They may seem like just shoes, but if they help her feel more confident and excited about going back to school, it can't hurt. And what girl isn't a little shoe crazy? :)
Okay, I only have a one-year-old but this day will come someday.
I would find out why my child wants the particular item. Is it because everyone has it? Is it because the child "needs" it for self-esteem or wish fulfillment? Is it because the child really does love it? This might make a difference in whether or not I'd get it.
How much it is definitely makes a difference as well.
I agree with the others. If the item is not in a particular budget and they don't really "need" the item, have the child earn the money for it or part of it by doing chores. If the child has to earn it, he or she may suddenly decide the item isn't as crucial after all.
My .02
(of course you could always wait for the "special occasion" to get them said item as well)
Forgot to mention. My current self finds these pretty hideous but I might have loved them as a 7-year-old.
kelli said...
Oh no! Tricky..
I do remember owning a pair of pink high-top converse with silver laces and they were my favorite (5th grade?). And I'm pretty sure they weren't my mom's idea. I like that memory.
Just yesterday, Cole insisted on wearing tall stripy socks with shorts on his third day of school. I tried to fight it too, but I'm guessing that probably none of the other kids even noticed. And he thought they were so cool..
If it were me and we weren't school shopping but rather suddenly she had to have twinkle toes, earning them is a great idea. But I think if they're within budget and they're not offensive (it's debatable), then it's fun to let her express herself. (She'll grow out of them soon enough, right?)
(Do some research and find a pair of sparkly shoes that you like? Would she go for a cool alternative?)
→http://www.morganandmilo.com/sku.php?Product_Code=MG2353CV&Color_Code=CHRM&Category_Code=MG
→http://piperlime.gap.com/browse/product.do?searchCID=26868&vid=1&pid=794679&scid=794679002
→http://piperlime.gap.com/browse/product.do?searchCID=26868&vid=1&pid=757968&scid=757968002
I feel your pain.
Ella is drawn to all things "Hooker" and is DYING for those same shoes.
But remember your 7 year old self? How much she would have loved them?
I don't know how much more expensive they are than other shoes, but if the cost is the same I say you let her get them.
My ESPRIT school bag was an outrageuos price and only had one pocket in front, but I went to the first day of 7th grade feeling confident and cool and how often do you get to feel that way as an awkward 12 year old girl?
bring her over here and I'll buy them for her - that's what grandparents are supposed to do (spoil little granddaughters)
What 7 year-old girl WOULDN'T want those shoes? They're AWESOME!
But I would definitely do a trade-off if they're too expensive. What other new wardrobe item would she be willing to give up in order to have those instead?
I was going to give my own advice, but as Tracie said, we're parents of a one year old who wears the shoes we tell him to because he doesn't seem to care.
My opinion, and it's just that, (besides listen to everyone else) is as long as they're not too expensive, buy them for her. As long as she loves them, I say go for it.
But teaching her about budgeting or having grandparents spoil her is pretty good too.
I laughed when I read this post!! We went through the same thing! I took Elle back to school shopping thinking it was going to be so much fun! Elle's not really a shopper and she pretty much lets me persuade her and pick everything. But, I really wanted the experience to be for "her" and not me, so I tried really hard to stay quiet. She picked a few really cute outfits which I loved and then we both agreed that a cute pair of All stars would work great with everything. When Target was out of her size we headed over to Famous Footwear. Where she instantly fell in love with those tacky shoes. I decided in my head that they were the only thing she got excited about the whole shopping trip, so I bought the over priced shoes justifying that I could bring Riley in later to get a 1/2 off pair. She had them all weekend and we went to see Despicable Me and the crazy light up shoes were a little distracting in the theater. Elle had to sit super still so they wouldn't light up and then I asked her on the way home if she thought they would be distracting in school. We didn't talk about it again till after I took Riley to Famous Foot wear and she came home with some cute black All Stars (b/c of course by this point that shoe is completely out of stock). Then Elle asked if we could take hers back and get some like Riley's. So, we went back and exchanged them for two pairs of All Stars (black and brown) for only a $10 difference. Now we're both happy!
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