snuggle.
I am not usually a snuggler. At least not anymore. The change occurred somewhere during the third trimester of my first pregnancy. I was big, uncomfortable, and it was the middle of summer. I was HOT. Very, very HOT! The added weight of Ammon's arm stretched across my enormous, heavy belly and his warm, wet breath on my already sweaty neck drove me nuts! I had transformed into the cliche pregnant woman--ornery, annoyed, and belligerent. I'm ashamed to admit it, but things like, "Don't touch me!", "Move!" and "Get away from me!" actually spewed out of my mouth.
Then, Carly was born and you'd think the snuggling would resume, but it didn't. My tender C-section scar, late night feedings, and my leaky mammories all contributed to my growing aversion to cuddling. As time drew on, I'd snuggle here and there, but it had lost it's appeal. I cared for, comforted, and fed a needy baby all day long and once she was in bed all I wanted, needed, and yearned for was... my space! I loved Ammon more than ever, but just the thought of him wrapping his arms around me (albeit lovingly) as we fell asleep made me hyperventilate.
As the weeks, months, and years passed, I thought the honeymoon phase of snuggling had too. Until the other day. I don't know if it's the loneliness that accompanies a rut, or because it's February (the month of love) but I turned on some music and laid down next to Ammon. I quickly found myself curled up beside him. Comforted. Warm. My head rest upon his chest, my nose gently pressed beneath his chin and my cheek settled against his collarbone. It was as though that very spot was created to cradle me. Only me. Ammon gently ran his fingers through the whispy hair on the back of my neck and... we snuggled. I felt like a teenager in love for the first time. How in all these years had I forgotten how wonderful and connecting just snuggling can be? We laid there, not saying a word (sometimes stealing kisses), and listening to the music for the better part of an hour. It was just what the doctor ordered. A quiet connection with the man I love.
So, in honor of the upcoming Dia de Amor, I thought I'd share part of my "snuggle" playlist with you (to listen and download songs see the sidebar).
Then, let the moment take you where it may.
8 comments:
I'm glad you and Ammon snuggled. As a Beckstrom Boy, I know Ammon needs his snuggling, and as his brother, I know he needs his Sugie! I remember when Carly was little, she was NOT a snuggler. She would arch her back if you tried to snuggle her, and I'd fumble, try not to drop your baby. (And I never did :)) Has she gotten more snuggly as she's gotten older?
Austin,
Sadly, no.
But, I have Wes. He's a snuggle bug!
I'm the same way and I'm not sure why. I definitely like space. Brad definitely likes snuggling. Hopefully I'll have some sort of epiphany as well.
I loved your story. So sweet.
so sweet! i am not a cuddler myself, i really like to have space, especially when i'm sleeping. we got a king-size bed when we moved and i still have a hard time going to sleep if dave comes to bed at the same time as me! sad. love the songs, though. i'm loving "everything'll be alright" by joshua radin lately.
Aww, that's so romantic. It almost makes me want to snuggle, but by the time I get the kids in bed, I'm hands off.
Wow, for a minute I felt like I was reading Twighlight. :)
Lynette, what a sweet memory you captured so well with your amazing words.
I think Kamron wishes I had the same snuggling problem...
Thank goodness for ceiling fans!
:)
I love snuggling. Except when I'm trying to sleep. It is the rare occasion that I let Austin cuddle up to me when it's bedtime. I'm claustrophobic and I don't usually like to be touched when I'm trying to sleep. But yes this was a really cute post. I'm glad you got some cuddle time in.
I love that you posted about snuggling. I've been thinking about this topic for a few days and I loved your post. You have a way with words.
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